Letters from Solitude
by Kenian Rainn
Summary: Previously a tag, now a three-part story. A tag to episodes "Solitudes" and "Heroes Part 1&2". Jack finds some letters in Sam's vest after the mission. Years later, Sam finds a letter in Jack's vest. SJ. Please read and review! Part Three is up! Complete!
1. Tag to Solitudes

Tag to Solitudes

_Cold. Snow. Warm. Jack. Need. More. Time._ Sam drifts off to sleep. When the rescuers wake her up, her first thought is to her Commanding Officer's safety. Her heart stops then starts again as soon as she knows he is going to make it. She is so glad to wake up because she has left so much unsaid.

* * *

Jack was finally all healed up and ready for duty. He was suiting up to visit P3X-who knows, who cares when he knocked Sam's vest off the bench. As he picked it up to put it back, he saw a few letters fall out of the inner pocket. He picked up the first envelope and pulled out the paper inside.

_I am writing this in the event that I die in the line of duty. Please ensure that the letters enclosed are received by the proper parties._

Next he picked up an envelope with _Daniel_ written on the front. He read over the last paragraph.

_I wasn't sure about you when we first met, I will admit, but you've turned out to be a wonderful friend and I will surely miss your company. I hope you'll miss mine too._

Next came a letter with _General Hammond_ written on it. His eyes landed on one of the last paragraphs.

_It's been a wonderful privilege serving with you. You are a wonderful commander and a warm human being and I'm so very lucky to have known you. Please make sure my father knows what happened to me._

Next came _Teal'c_.

_I do regret not getting to show you more about Earth, although I am sure that Colonel O'Neill will do a wonderful job of showing you the ropes. I have no doubt that you will free your people and I am just sorry that I can't be there to see it._

Jack bit his lip while pulling out the next letter. _Dad. _He sped read through the letters until a certain passage caught his attention.

_After everything we've been through, I just wish we had more time. I forgave you a long time ago, even if I didn't show it. I love you dad, I always have. _

_Even if they won't tell you how I died, just know I died doing my duty and protecting my country. I hope you realize that my wasn't for nothing. Just trust me on that one._

He picked up the last envelope. _Jack_. His fingers quivered as he opened the envelope.

_In case you make it out and I don't, I just want you to know that I'm very sorry that I couldn't save you, sir. I hope you'll find another member for your team, surely better suited than I am._

_I truly regret not getting to know you better before my life ended. I want you to know how much I admire you as a leader. After all the hardship in the past, you're still serving and for that you are so strong. Ever since we met I've aspired to be more like you, hoping that someday I could be half as strong as you._

_It has been a pleasure and an honor serving with you, sir._

_Sam_

Jack slipped the letters back into her vest. He was more than a little shook up. He had no idea how much Sam paid attention to his habits. She wanted to be like him? He hoped she'd never be as scarred as he was. He felt a little guilty for reading the letters, but he was glad to have some new insight into his 2IC. And yes, he was very glad they had both made it out alive.

On the mission that night, he wrote out letters of his own. One very special letter he kept close to his heart on every mission after that. A letter with a name scrawled on the front. _Sam._

fin.

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So? Any thoughts? Send them to me - press the review button down there. Thanks for reading!


	2. Tag to Heroes

Due to a couple requests... I've continued the story. Now you have the chance to read Jack's letter to Sam. Enjoy!

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Part Two

Sam watched as everything around her slowed, almost to a stop. She saw him go down. Jack. He'd been shot by a staff weapon. She screamed as she ran over to him. The minutes seemed like days before someone came to take him back to the base, to save him.

As they lifted him onto the stretcher, she saw a piece of paper fall onto the ground. She tried to put it back in his pocket, but he had already been taken through the gate. She put it in her vest. She'd give it back to him later.

* * *

Sam sat down in her lab as she waited to hear if Jack would be okay. She ran her fingers through her hair before remembering the piece of paper in her pocket. She pulled it out and was shocked to find that it had her name on the front. She carefully opened the paper and started to read.

_Sam -_

_If you are reading this, I must assume that I've been killed on a mission. Or maybe there was an invasion of the base. Whatever the case, you're alive and I'm not._

_I hope that you don't beat yourself up over the things you should have done to save me. I'm pretty sure that if I died then no one could have saved me. Don't stay in your lab all the time trying to figure out what went wrong. It happened, Sam. You can't change it, no matter how little sleep you get._

_If the SGC remains in operation after my untimely demise, I hope you will get to lead SG-1. I can't think of anyone else who is better suited for the job. _

Sam took a shaky breath. It seemed surreal. She didn't know if he'd live or die and yet she was holding a letter in her hands that said he was gone. She closed her eyes for a moment before refocusing on the words in the letter.

_Another thing... I wish I'd told you before I died but this will have to do. Remember that time they thought we were Za'tarcs or whatever and we had to disclose information we didn't really want to? We kept it in the room because we valued our careers, we knew how important our jobs were to the safety of everyone on Earth. We pushed those feelings aside because we had to, to protect our lives, everyone's lives._

_I d that room, Sam. I was never okay with it, alright? Maybe you were, but I never was. Never. You will never know how many times I just wanted to throw away the rule book and sweep you off your feet. How many times I wanted to kiss you in your lab, not caring who was watching. I... knew I'd regret it if I didn't. But I couldn't risk taking you down with me. More was at stake than my career. Yours was too and so I didn't. And you can be sure I regret now._

_I only want you to be happy, Sam. I don't want you to waste your life away in your lab, trying to solve every problem that presents itself. Life is too short. If there is one thing I want my to prove, it is that. Once it's over, it's over. You can't get a second chance. Unless you're Daniel, of course._

_Don't cry for me, Sam. Don't blame yourself. I want you to be happy. Please let yourself be happy._

_I love you, Sam. I only wish I had gotten to tell you in person. I'll miss you. Maybe you'll miss me too._

_Jack._

Sam folded the letter back up. She slipped it into her pocket. She started to cry. The more she tried to stop, the more she cried. She put her head in her hands. She had no idea he felt the way he did. She figured after the Za'tarc testing, he'd moved on. She had moved on and now she felt terrible for it. She hadn't really moved on, of course, but she'd tried her hardest.

And there it was. Plain and simple. Written in his choppy handwriting. He loved her. He loved her. No matter how many times she read over the words, she could not believe it. Jack loved **her**. He was going to wait until he died to tell her, but he meant it. He had to. She knew he did.

She stopped crying and moved on to trying to figure out how to tell him she knew. She didn't want him to think she'd been snooping. But, really, the letter was addressed to her. It wasn't truly an invasion of privacy, right? Maybe she wouldn't tell him at all.

It seemed like the best plan, but she didn't know if she could go on working with him knowing how he felt. He **loved** her. He'd told her, tried to. She couldn't... live with that. She couldn't act like nothing had changed because everything had.

She looked up to a knock at the door. She saw Daniel standing there. He had tears in his eyes, threatening to overflow.

"Daniel?" she said tentatively. "What did the infirmary say?"

He took a deep breath. "Jack will be fine, he just got out of surgery. He'll need time to recover, but... he's alive."

Sam let out the breath she was holding. "Oh, Daniel! That's great!"

He nodded weakly.

"What's wrong? Why are you so upset. What happened, Daniel?" she said quietly.

"Jack is fine... but Janet," his voice broke. "She's gone, Sam."

Sam just stared at him.

"They couldn't save her." The tears were now flowing onto his cheeks and Sam started to cry again.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered. He turned and left the room. Sam slumped down into the chair, words Janet had said just a few days before.

"_Life is too short. I don't know if you're meant to be with Pete or with someone else, but you need to find a way to be happy, Sam. There's just isn't enough time to put off your happiness. For all we know, it could be over tomorrow."_

Sam hadn't understood Janet's reason for her sudden seriousness, but now... maybe Janet had a feeling something would happen. She'd just passed off her friend's advice before but now... she knew what she had to do. What she had to do to protect her happiness and appease Janet's last wish for her.

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So? Any thoughts? There will be one last chapter after this... please review! Thanks for reading!


	3. Tag to Heroes: Part Two

Chapter Three

Sam walked into the infirmary and over to where Jack was laying.

"Hey Carter."

"Sir," she said softly.

"I heard about the Doc."

"Yeah." Sam tried not to start crying again.

"It won't be the same without her."

Sam cleared her throat and walked closer to him. She pulled the paper out of her pocket.

"Would you mind telling me what this is?" she asked.

Jack's eyes fell on the name on the front, written in his careless handwriting. _Sam._

"Oh, that. Where did you find it?"

"It fell out of your pocket right before they took you through the 'gate."

He nodded. "Did you read it?"

Sam looked down at the ground. "Yes, sir."

"All of it?"

"Yes," she responded in a whisper.

"I see," he said before pausing.

"Was it... was it all true, sir?" she asked gently.

"Oh yeah, Carter. All of it."

They fell into silence again.

"So, what do we do now?" Sam asked him.

"I don't know. I always imagined I wouldn't be, er... alive at this point, so..."

Sam smiled weakly.

"Whatever you want to do, I'll be okay with it."

She nodded.

"Alright," she whispered.

She walked over to the side of his bed. He looked at her, slightly confused. She leant down close to his face and then kissed him softly.

They stayed like that for a long moment. Finally, they pulled away leaving their foreheads still touching.

"I don't want to keep it in the room any longer. I can't."

Jack smiled up at her. "I can't keep it there anymore either."

"What about the regs?" she asked, growing concerned.

Jack shrugged. "We'll find a way around them."

"You promise?"

"I promise. But first..."

He kissed her again. She sat down on the side of the bed. She broke the kiss and looked deep into his eyes, sending shivers down his spine.

"I love you, Jack," she told him softly.

"I love you too, Sam," he whispered. "Always."

They kissed again. And this time, they didn't care who was watching.

fin.

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It is finally finished! I hope you all enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing, even if I did feel like crying sometimes... for sad! Review if you like, and thanks so much for reading!


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